worst part

Narrowly missing a dead pit bull laying in the street on Florence and Normandie as I rode to Inglewood Superior Court House was the high point of my yesterday. As I daydream about my upcoming arraignment a dog's corpse appeared but I veered in time to avoid strike the ex-animal at 45 mph and from there my day went downhill. After paying $4 to park adjacent the courthouse, I stand in a line that takes 45 minutes to get inside the courthouse, where I stand in another line. Everyone in line is guilty of a red-light violation and will have to pay a $400 fine. "I'm not like you," I say to those within earshot, "I'm innocent." Few chuckle as most continue waiting in a line going nowhere slowly.

Once the line begins moving inside into the court I am seated in the corner where I listen to a translator speaking to an all-Hispanic jury. The Asian woman adjacent me has a pensive look so I strike up a conversation, "Lots of evidence, I need lots of evidence to convince the jury I'm innocent."

"What?" she replies, taking her head up from her Blackberry.
"I see you have two cell phones. That sucks you have to bring two chargers everywhere," I retort. She ignores and keeps texting. "Fucking guilty criminals," I retort. She smiles and continues ignoring me. After two dozen people have been called before the judge and plead guilty, my name is called. As the charges against me were read, I reply "Not guilty."

"Are you posting bail?" asks the judge
"That depends on how much bail is," I retort.
"Do you see how many people are here today," asks the judge. "I don't have time to answer everyone's questions."

The bailiff pulls me aside, hands me a piece of paper and directs me to a cashier. After another half hour in line I pay $212 and am released on my own recognizance until my trial on January 16th, 2010. I arrive to work an hour late and spend the day scanning photographs. Finding this photograph was the third best part of my day; right after spending my Christmas bonus to not go to jail and not running over someone's dead pit bull in the worse part of Los Angeles.