understanding the enemy: police psychology

Understanding the psychology of a police officer is the first step to not getting ticketed by a police officer. The police officer ticketing you on the side of the road for having bald tires became a cop to do good for their community. Years of bureaucracy, issuing tickets for texting drivers and filling out mindless forms have eroded the police officer's desire to better their community and replaced it with apathy. Now you know that neither of you are happy about being on the side of the road.


The first step to not getting a ticket is to pull off the road in a place that give the police officer enough room to safely park their car and approach you. Cops are worried about their safety first and foremost so pick a wide, well-lit place for the police officer to approach you. Remember that a cop has no idea who you are or what you've done and small things like this make them feel more at ease. Once I am pulled over I turn off the motorcycle and remove my helmet so the officer and I can talk without resorting to yelling at each other.

Second, I'm not sure if you have to have an inferiority complex to become a police officer or if having one helps but either way cops want you to know who's in charge. To help stroke their ego I always refer to them as "Officer" or "Sir." This small act reaffirms the police officer's place on the hierarchy while allowing you to move the conversation forward.

Third, ask permission to fish out your license, registration and proof of insurance. You know where all these documents are right? Police officers' hate having to wait while you keep searching for these simple documents, which is why I photocopy my proof of insurance and vehicle registration on one piece of paper and keep it behind my drivers license. My wallet is either in a pocket or a backpack but I request their permission before delving into my backpack so as they don't get the impression I'm going to remove a something special on a Saturday night.

Fourth, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law so don't lie, mislead, argue or apologize. These behaviors will only antagonize, anger or otherwise alienate yourself from the officer and assure that you will be issued a citation. I avoid speaking with the officer as much as I can and wait until I am spoken to to converse. Apologizing means you have something to be sorry for and will guarantee that you will be receiving a ticket and make it impossible to fight the ticket later as your apology will be recorded as an admission of guilt.

Five means remain as anonymous as possible. Police officers write a lot of tickets and after filing an extension it could be a year between the date on your ticket and your day in court. Do everything you can to not stand out. In the course of that year the officer can be transferred, quit, re-assigned or any other number of thing could stop the officer from showing up in court. If the officer doesn't show you get to go free.

The only thing better then weaseling your way out of a ticket is not getting one in the first place.

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