at worst

The cockroach waited until after we were seated to make his appearance and attempted disappearance. The waiter, her and myself looking for the six-legged bugger made the rest of the restaurant take notice to our problem but my problem was less obvious. I wanted to get lunch with someone on a hazy Saturday afternoon so I texted the woman whom I had an uninteresting date with the week before. After killing the cockroach I ordered some hummus, pita bread ($6) and two mint teas ($3 each).

The tea took forever and the vapid conversation made my pallet even drier. When our teas arrived I was surprised to find only hot water and mint leaves. She orders a chicken kabob ($11), which includes rice, humus and salad. She asks to substitute french fries for her humus and our waiter agrees. I order a lamb kabob ($11) with rice, humus and salad. Eventually we get some par humus on store-bought flat bread. I’m famished, as I haven’t eaten all day after I took two bites of raisin bran doused in sour milk.

Our waiter returns to our table to say that he can't substitute fries for humus. "Then just add an order for a side of fries," I say noticing his timid movements. He ebbs back to the kitchen only to return empty handed to the dining room. He never carries two things at once, also forcing himself to walk more then he has to walk, I think to myself. "He must me new to waiting" I say, interrupting her monologue that I’ve been tuning out. I go back to busying myself by staring at other tables; crowded with twenty and thirty-somethings having boisterous conversations to the soundtrack of forks scraping plates and clanging glasses.

Our food arrives. I notice the food is plated well and the portions large but to my dismay the lambs wasn't shaved off a spit and consisted of large cubed bites. I eat silently, planning an escape. I pay the $42 tab plus tip and walk outside. "Where’d you park?" she asks. "I walked from home," I respond. "I’ll give you a ride," she retorts. "I’d rather walk," I respond wanting to forget this afternoon so far.

I'm a lazy man and wanted to like the restaurant as it's near my house. In the end they were both at best generic and at worst unmemorable.