ever said

Walking off the Troubadour stage, she takes the stairs leading to a second-story balcony, climbs on top of the banister and jumps backwards into the unsuspecting crowd twenty-feet below. In a knee-jerk reaction, the crowd raises their hands to catch her before gasping, screaming and cheering the new 2010 US regional Air Guitar Champion.

"I've seen people set themselves on fire and shit in a pizza box," exclaims an event judge. "But I've never seen anything like that." Even though three people had yet to perform, the championship was already decided.

I finished my vodka and tonic and Alex, heather and Betty left the venue for the cat club. After paying a five-dollar cover we enter the vintage West Hollywood club where some band is getting ready to perform. We order a belvedere vodka and tonic, fat tire ale, vodka cranberry and coca cola. Alex pays $30 plus tip and we sip beverages in the damp, rectangular venue.

"Want to go on the roof?" asks Alex. "Yes," I reply and we swim through the crowd out to the smoker’s patio in back. Alex climbs onto a park bench and scrambles onto an awning. He walks over a five-foot metal ring before sitting on the awning against a stucco wall. We sip drinks and chain smoke, recapping the week since we've last seen each other.

"I broke up with Liz," Alex says. "I'm not longer hanging with Laura," I retort. "But I hooked up with this sexy woman last night," Alex says. "I met an interesting woman last night," I reply. Live cover songs and the loutish conversations of smokers below formed the soundtrack to our conversation on love, hate, revenge and substance abuse. Two women in mini-skirts and faux fur walk past the smokers, past our park bench over to another bench where employees smoke. A man joins them.

The blond sits on a chair facing the bench while the brown-haired woman sits on the bench, pulling back her skirt. The man pulls down his pants, pulls back her pencil skirt and starts fucking her. The blond watches, noiselessly texting away. They fuck for two minutes before the brown-haired woman complains that she's cold and they stop. In a moment of selflessness the man gives the woman oral sex but she's had enough. She pulls down her skirt. He leaves.

We get down from the roof and start a conversation with the women. "Were you watching us," accuses the brown-haired woman. "Hardly," I reply, "we've been up there an hour when you walked in front of our field of vision. Everyone laughs at the absurdity and I ask the blond why she didn't join in.

She skirts the question and says something in Russian to the brown-haired woman. "What would my dad think," response the brown haired woman. "Whose your dad?" I respond. "He's a rich business man who’s well-connected," she retorts. Seems like a hell of a thing to be thinking about after you just finished fucking next to trash dumpsters in a seedy area.

The man walks back. Alex shakes his had but I decline considering I just saw what he did and offer a fist bump. "Don mind us," I said. "Feel free to continue." They decide to go back to the blonde’s car to finish what they started on the drive home.

“The bar's closed and its time to leave,” explains a busboy. We find Betty kissing on some rocker guy and Heather's talking to a circle of guys. The rocker guy leaves. "That's how you get AIDS," Alex says to Betty. "Guys like that." Betty recoils and springs back, "That's one of the meanest things you've ever said to me."

She walks out of the bar and I begin the long walk home.