Staring at the stapler I got from Staples from my bed

There it is, across my room and in my office. The stapler is bright and coolant in color. The problem isn't the color but that the stapler has never had any staples. The vulcanized rubber handle grips well in the palm of my hand but what are the limitations of this non-skid rubber based piece of office equipment: 15 pages? 30 pages? 50 pages?

After working an odd job, photographing people and putting their image on mouse pads, I was given the stapler and henceforth the object has sat impotently on my pressed wood desk; scattered amongst the miscellaneous change and 2007 tax receipts.

I wonder if the stapler ever jams or tries to eject two staples at once? How much recoil is there after every shot? The image of me gripping and shooting the stapler sideways-gangster style comes to mind.

Eventually, I decide to get out of bed and take a shower but before I do I walk over to my desk and throw away the Staples One-Touch Executive Stapler.

http://www.staples.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/StaplesProductDisplay?&langId=-1&storeId=10001&splCatType=0&catalogId=10051&productId=200238&cmArea=SC1:CG1031:CL10700